How long will it last?

Sure, it sounds like the title of a new hit game show on NBC with Howie Mandel, but it’s not. It’s the game all of us play with our refrigerator.

I never know how long something lasts and I almost always have leftovers. I keep them in the fridge for a good week or two, then I carefully open it up, hoping it doesn’t release a some disgusting odor (which it often does) or even worse, hoping that the disgusting odor juices don’t end up splashing me in the face upon opening it.

So after some investigating (and a little help from AskMen.com) here’s what you need to know.

1. How long do apples last?
You can enjoy weeks and weeks of apple bobbing parties with these hardy fruits; if stored in a cool, dry area (the basement and the fridge drawer are always good picks), apples can last anywhere between 3 to 6 months.

2. Is it better to keep bread out on the counter or in the fridge?
If you want your bread to stay fresh, then keep your loaf on the counter at room temperature; refrigerating bread may halt the growth of mold, but it will dry bread out and cause it to become stale more quickly. If you want to store bread, however, you’re better off sticking it in the freezer.

3. How long do eggs last?
Long enough for a month of omelets. Fresh eggs, in their shell, can last in the fridge for 4 to 5 weeks after purchase.

4. Does hard cheese last longer than soft cheese?
Hell yeah! The “rock” of cheeses, hard cheese lasts for 3 to 4 weeks after being opened, whereas soft cheese lasts for about one week after being opened.

5. How long does an open box of cereal last?
You can look forward to several blissful months of waking up to the Cap’n. Cap’n Crunch, that is; an open box of cereal will remain edible for about 2 to 3 months in a dry room. A humid home, on the other hand, spells a shorter shelf life for your favorite box of cereal.

6. Is milk any good after the expiry date?
This really isn’t something you want to discover for yourself. Milk should definitely be chucked after it has expired. The nutrients and vitamins in milk start to diminish after opening, so besides giving you the stomachache of your life, drinking expired milk won’t really do your body any good.

7. How long do TV dinners last in the freezer?
These convenient marvels of modern living will last in the freezer for about 6 months; check the expiry date on the package just to be sure.

8. How long can you keep cooked burgers on the counter?
Whether it’s been barbecued, baked, fried, or thrown on a hot sidewalk in the middle of a heat wave, cooked meat shouldn’t be left at room temperature for more than 2 hours. After 2 hours, human-unfriendly bacteria starts to grow on the meat, making it an unhealthy, highly unpleasant snack and all-around bad idea to mess with.

9. How long does raw steak last in the freezer?
You’ve got almost a year to eat like a real man. Raw steak will last up to 12 months in the freezer.

10. How long do cold cuts last?
For less time than you think. I once knew a guy who ate lunchmeats dotted with blue spots… he hasn’t been the same since. To avoid drastically altering your fated life path, throw away an open package of cold cuts after 3 to 5 days, and send cold cuts stored in a tightly-sealed container packing after 10 days.

11. Can poultry be put in the freezer after it’s been cooked?
Freeze away. Fried chicken will keep in the freezer for 4 to 6 months, while cooked poultry dishes will last for about 4 months in the freezer.

12. Can I drink a bottle of beer that was left open overnight?
Technically, sure, go ahead. The beer won’t be toxic or anything, but if you could muster up the energy to go over to the fridge and open up a brand new bottle, you’ll save yourself the not-so-fun experience of ingesting flat, raunchy, morning-after alcohol.

13. Does ice cream ever go bad?
It’s hard to believe that something this good could ever go bad; but just like Lex Luthor, ice cream, too, will eventually cross over to the dark side. Although it doesn’t have a set shelf life, this frozen goodness will eventually grow a layer of fuzzy ice droplets that give it a coarse, icy texture and just take all the fun out of eating it. The jury’s still out on when this occurs, but depending on the condition of your freezer, it could be anywhere from 12 days to 12 months.

14. How many days does delivery pizza last?
See all those boxes of half-eaten pizza strewn around your living room floor? Yeah, you might want to think about throwing those out. Delivery pizza in the box will last for about 3 to 4 days in the fridge, but should be terminated faster than Kevin Costner’s career if left at room temperature for over 2 hours.

15. Do Twinkies really last indefinitely?
Sure they do, and the tooth fairy really did leave all those quarters under your pillow. Sorry, Twinkies do not, in fact, defy all the laws of food storage. They have a shelf life of about a month, and this relatively lengthy shelf life is due to the fact that Twinkies contain no dairy products.

16. If the power goes out , how long will food last in the freezer and fridge?
You have several hours before total starvation begins to set in. If the fridge door is kept closed, food will last for about 4 to 6 hours, and will remain edible for about 1 to 2 days in the freezer.

• The ugly truth about mold: Mold is not your friend. Yes, it may be soft and fuzzy, but it is not, by any means, friendly. Mold can cause allergic reactions and sickness. If your food has grown that familiar greenish/grayish/bluish fur, kiss it goodbye. The only moldy foods that can be salvaged are hard cheeses and firm fruits and veggies. In these cases, cut the moldy areas away and enjoy.
• Better safe than sorry: Avoid strange encounters of the food kind. Resist adventurous urges, and throw away any food that looks or smells suspicious. This type of shady food item belongs in the garbage, not in your stomach.
• Expiry date rules can sometimes be bent: “Best before…” is not a hard and fast rule; it is merely a very strong suggestion in regards to when to discard the food in question. And although this date doesn’t necessarily mean you need to throw away said food, if the food looks shady, throw it a big old farewell party.
• Storing temperatures: Take charge of your food storage facilities. Make sure your freezer is set at or below 0°F, and the fridge is set between 34° and 40°F to slow the growth of harmful human-hating bacteria. Once you’ve decided which foods are freezer-worthy, tightly wrap freezer-bound food in a plastic bag, let all the air out of the bag and tie it to avoid freezer burn. If it’s not the fridge or freezer, make sure your storage location is cool and dry.

« Happy 50th Helvetica!

Lasagna with a Twist »