Cap’n Crunch Reveals Full Name

Cap’n Crunch

BREAKING NEWS: Cap’n Crunch has a full name!

According to Megnut and this month’s Saveur Magazine, the captain’s full name is Cap’n H. M. Crunch, or Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch.

In other Cap’n Crunch news, the Cap’n ain’t the Cap’n no more. According to this article from Pop Culture Magazine, the Cap’n was promoted to Commodore in 2004. Comm’dore Crunch had this to say.

“It’s about damn time,” said the maritime cereal spokesman in his trademark, slightly quivering voice.

Commissioned in 1963 to increase the appeal of the cereal of the same name, he feels the recognition is overdue. “I could have used the time to sail the high seas, trading in spices and silks from the orient,” Crunch said.

The Cap’n was promoted ahead of such other noted captains as Morgan, Kangaroo, and America. “Cap’n deserves this a lot,” said Captain America. “He may not have fought Nazis like I did in World War II, or even participated in major action in the South Seas, but educating people on a satisfying part of a complete breakfast is a worthy task.”

Photo from The Imaginary World.


10 comments so far

  1. raincoaster on

    Not to mention Captain America is dead, so that sort of takes him out of the running. Kudos on getting a quote out of him, though; they usually clam up after rigor mortis sets in. That musta been one hell of a pentagram the reporter used.

  2. cincodemayo1 on

    That’s hard journalism at its best.

  3. sugarsmacks on

    Hey WWFF, of course this post caught my eye. My blog has a cereal theme. I may have to read this some more tomorrow and link you in my post, as the source.

    Can’t believe Cap’n Crunch is re-emerging from the mists of time to set the record straight.

    I’ll be back! Nice new blog btw.


  4. cincodemayo1 on

    Thanks…feel free to link me! And come back soon!

  5. […] spark interest I decided to throw that picture up their. Also, in other Captain news: I came across this the other day discussing Captain Crunch’s promotion from Captain to Commodore and also […]

  6. AJ on

    Worst blog everrr.

  7. cincodemayo1 on

    Worst comment everrr.

  8. Idetrorce on

    very interesting, but I don’t agree with you

  9. horatio magellan on

    […] name revealed — ( [3] Cap’n Crunch Reveals Full Name ” Will Work For Food (… [4] Cap’n Crunch’s full name is Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch. […]

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